Sunday, 9 January 2011

The Hareng Rouge Caper


Today brought us the most glorious of victories!

In the face of heavy enemy fire and mounting casualties we not only proved our metal but captured our stated objective in a most heroic manner!

At first, when we heard about the rumoured illicit landing of valuable cargo, I dismissed them as the idle talk of those who have had whimsical fantasy filling their thoughts, distracting them from their oppressed situation.

However, when two detachments of the (sadly misguided, yet courageous) Bristol Rifles came our way with the disruption of the very same illegal landing in mind we gladly and with one mind leapt at the chance to assist the Legitimate Guardians of The People in the execution of their lawful duties.

Our peaceful and lawful march on the jetty, some way up the Avon, was interrupted by heavy small arms fire and eventually, suppressive fire from a mortar.

We weathered this fire; prudently taking cover in the natural defences afforded us, close to the pontoon, while our aggressors cowered behind a hillock, afraid to face the men they were content to shell from afar.

I later found out that our enemy had been employing a mercenary band (probably fresh from the Fascist lines of the Spanish Civil War). Our opponent’s willingness to employ these Capitalist Merchants of Death speaks greatly of their true natures!

The appearance of the French cutter, Le Hareng Rouge, was announced by the distant explosion of our opponents mortar. A sound lesson for our cowardly foe.

Forced out of their unmanly defensive positions, the mercenaries brought up their machine gun and began to fire upon us. This, alone, would not have been enough to supress the spirits of true revolutionaries, but at that point Le Hareng Rouge vomited forth the nest of vipers it was harbouring, tearing into the guard we had placed near the pontoon to liberate the ship in the name of The People.

Our forces, beleaguered and bloodied, fell back, but only after the faint-hearted regulars had vacated the area, and their bowels.

As our opponents abandoned the ships like… well… like rats, who should we spot at their head, none other than the notorious criminal and aristocratic oppressor of The People, Lady Florence Bagshaw!

But as she and her entourage flounced up the river bank, dirtying the decadent apparel, bought with the stolen labour of other men, I, assisted by those brave comrades still able to fight on liberated a rowing dinghy and with the ingenuity born only of true Communist teamwork, commandeered Le Hareng Rouge in the name of The People!

Our objective of securing the goods of the smuggling operation was thus gloriously achieved! The supplies of value we recovered were the sum total of one empty cargo hold. It was this empty cargo hold that Lady Bagshaw and her cadre of child soldiers failed to take with them when they escaped.

However, an opportunity to rid the world of a bourgeois parasite was unconscionably lost. No matter. The relevant authorities have been told of Lady Bagsaw’s return from France and soon she will find herself committing her first act for her fellow man; feeding the land with her decaying remains…

A Call to Arms

The so called Free Press say that today we are in the opening stages of the first British Civil War! They all claim that what we are seeing is a justifiable struggle between a glorious defender of the sovereignty of this nation and an illegitimate usurper. The identity of the true rulers and the dishonourable power grabber will switch depending on which newspaper you happen to read but, do not be fooled brothers!
Neither of the power brokers in this conflict is legitimate! Neither the Fascistic Monarchy nor the decadent bourgeois parliament have a valid claim to rule this nation. What this struggle is in fact symptomatic of is the growing unrest of the British worker with the inept government left over from the age of medieval traditions and Iron Age superstition!
Today we find ourselves in the midst of a revolution, even if many of The People are unable or even refuse to acknowledge it. We shall open their eyes! We shall bring to them the glory of the Communist Ideal! We shall be the vanguard of the revolution in this, the Spring of 1939.