Today brought us the most glorious of victories!
We received information from the glorious people’s resistance pertaining to the location of one of the traitorous trade union leaders who had barely slipped through our fingers aboard the Badger Express.
We were also informed of the fact that the target was undefended, which, alas, proved to be false. Clearly the resistance was infiltrated by fascist turncoats.
Throwing caution (and the lessons learned in our last endeavour) to the wind we sped to the crossroads of the town ignoring the many sites where enemy ambushers could appear.
Having reached the porch of the perfidious wretch in the dashing manner we found ourselves ambushed by the degenerate child soldiers of St Tinians who lay await within and without.
Meanwhile, seeing our erstwhile Welsh allies beset by a throng of capering drunken louts, we dutifully came to their assistance, only to be best by both groups at once.
We learned later that our target had fled the scene just before we arrived, making success impossible from the outset.
However, even with traitors mauling our flanks and our exit blocked by the army, pernicious rogues and surprisingly violent farmers, we shot our way free of the maelstrom with a totally acceptable level of casualties.
I am sure that the cowardly TU leader tonight lies quaking, afeared for his life in some ditch, and not, as some reports are indicating, drinking brandy in the Senior Girls Common Room at St Trinians.